The year after my divorce, more than a quarter century ago, I purchased a setting for eight of sterling silverware. It was something I'd always wanted, and it was a big decision to make such a purchase on my own, as a working single mother.
I kept each treasured piece of silverware in the little plastic bag it came in, taking place settings out only when guests came for dinner. But as I got older, and entertained less formally, the silver stayed packed away. So did the collectable red glass dishes and crystal goblets; along with "good" clothes that hung in my closet because I regarded them as too good to wear except for some really special occasion.
Then one winter day a few years ago, while driving on a freeway up a long icy hill, my car began sliding on black ice. With terrifying slowness, it began spinning in circles back down the steep highway. I had no control, and no idea what was going to happen next. I could crash into one of the semis or big pickups crowding the road. With a strange calm, I realized that I could be living my last moments. But instead of having my whole life pass in front of my eyes, the only feeling was regret that my beloved silverware had never been used except for other people.
By some miracle, my car spun in and out of traffic and into a big snowbank on the side of the road, without even a dent. But my near-death moment was a life-changing experience. What changed was my habit of "saving" my best things instead of using them for my own pleasure.
I began using my elegant and expensive tableware. The cashmere sweater and designer silks came out of the "good clothing" bags. At my age, I'm not going clubbing, and dates are few and far between. It doesn't matter that I'm wearing those expensive boots just to go to the store.
I told the story to a friend, and he said, shocked, "That's like me! I go fishing, but I never use my "good" pole; I'm waiting for the right fishing trip! And I'm "saving" my tailored leather jacket for special occasions, but I've only worn it twice, and I've had it for years!"
And how about you? What are you saving for some wonderful day in the future, while going without the pleasure of your treasure in the here and now?
It's okay to keep special things for special occasions when you're in your 30's or 40's, but once you hit boomer age, you've already lived half your life. More importantly, your life has probably changed greatly since you were younger. The truth is, that special day you were saving stuff for is now less likely to happen. Now is the right time to please yourself with your special belongings. Bring out that "good" china; so what if a dish or two breaks? Drink up and enjoy that bottle of liquor you've been saving for years. Use those slick golf club covers that were being saved for new clubs. Life is a lot more uncertain once you hit 50, and it becomes more uncertain with each year. What if you never get to use the stuff you've been saving? Time also affects things. That fancy linen tablecloth with matching napkins can get permanently yellowed at the creases of the folds. Moths may still eat hole in carefully sheltered "good" clothes.
Bring out the things you've been thinking are too good for everyday use. When you hit boomer age, the days begin to dwindle down. You still have time to enjoy the treasured objects you've been saving for the right time.
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